Describing this adventure is not easy. There are so many layers. Can I just write a super long run on sentence? I don't consider myself a writer even a little bit. Come to think of it, I didn't think of myself as a paddle boarder either, but I just paddled a little under a hundred miles in the Everglades in four days.

The cast of characters consisted of myself, Corey Cooper (owner of Bote), Ethan Luppert (team racer), and the infamous Clinton Brown.

Within a couple of weeks, I witnessed and experienced so much cool shit. Corey made a paddle board that resembles a hybrid of a Columbian cocaine smuggling submarine and a cigar boat. Then we drove to the Everglades where in some respects we were prepared and some we were not. Shark infested waters, sand spurs the size of golf balls, fearless raccoons, alligators and crocodiles, and near hypothermia are just a few things we encountered along the way. The last day, which happened to be my Birthday, we paddled thirty five miles (mostly against the tide) surrounded by a lot of shit that wanted to eat us. My kids will never hear the end of it.

Special thanks to ENO for the rad hammocks, and Magda Cooper for helping us to get our shit together.